For some, choosing a condom is a big deal. For others, it’s a small thing. Either way, there are lots of condoms to consider. So when I found the ONE, I shot off this letter to the manufacturer…

Dear Prophylacticators,

I came across your ONE Next Generation Condoms and got excited just reading the box. Maybe it was a little premature since I’ve never used your product, but you did arouse my curiosity.

Can you explain the thinking behind having 576 sensations on ONE Condoms? You say there are 576 pleasure studs for maximum physical pleasure. I’m sure most women would enjoy 576 studs simultaneously servicing them. I’m not exactly a stud, so I can use all the help I can get.

What makes 576 the magic number? Why not 575 or even 600? Is it possible that 576 might be overkill? What if a woman can’t handle that much pleasure and her eyes bulge out of their sockets during the heat of passion like a goldfish? Not that I’ve ever made love to a woman that resembled a goldfish, although one did turn out to be a piranha.

Do you have any studies that indicate what would happen if a man wanted to double the pleasure and wear two ONE Condoms at the same time increasing the pleasure stud capacity to 1,152? Would the woman feel like she had just taken on the New England Patriots?

P.S. With ONE Condoms, does size still matter or will the 576 sensations seduce women into thinking they’ve hit the mother lode no matter what?

Global Protection Corp., marketers of ONE Condoms, responded with:

Thank you for your feedback. Your letter made my day!

As for your question regarding, “would a woman feel like she had just taken on the New England Patriots”; even though I am a woman, as a Quality Assurance representative, I can’t say that I am qualified to answer that question.

Enclosed please find a complimentary t-shirt. Have a great day.

Final Thoughts: If the idea of 576 sensations from a condom turns you on, try ONE. Another way to find pleasure is to find a product you like and Write The Company.