The catchy theme song on the Kellogg’s Special K Granola Bars commercial is “Heart Skips a Beat” by Lenka. I questioned them about that choice…

Dear Kellogg’s Granola Bar Tenders:

After watching the latest television commercial for Special K Granola Bars, I’m scared to buy them. The song playing throughout the commercial is all about your heart skipping a beat. Why would Kellogg’s do that? What’s special about eating anything that causes palpitations or arrhythmia?

What exactly is in Kellogg’s Special K Granola Bars that can actually make someone’s heart skip a beat? If someone ate an entire box of these granola bars, would their chest feel like a group of Cuban bongo players were pounding away on it? Based on this new development, should consumers who eat these granola bars be taking an antiarrhythmic drug just in case? If not, will they be at additional risk for atrial fibrillation, supraventricular tachycardia or atrial and ventricular premature complexes?

If granola bars are making hearts skip a beat, what’s next? Corn Pops you can feel bursting in your pancreas? All-Bran with so much fiber it causes rectal spasms? Let’s not even mention where you can go with Fruit Loops! Where will it end?

Anyway, once a Kellogg’s Special K Granola Bar is consumed, how long can you expect your heart to skip beats for before returning back to normal?

Palpitationally yours,

“Me”

A Consumer Affairs Consumer Specialist responded with:

Thank you for contacting our company regarding the advertising for Kellogg’s® Special K® Granola Bars. We sincerely appreciate your interest.

Viewer reaction, such as yours, is helpful to us and taken into consideration when developing future advertisements. Your concerns have been forwarded to the appropriate company officials and we hope future ads for this and our other products will be more acceptable to you.

Again, thank you for sharing your views and interest in our company.

Best of Health,

“Them”

Final Thoughts: Consumer Affairs never got to the heart of the matter in this reply. What makes it even more frustrating is it came from a Specialist. Unfortunately, his specialty apparently isn’t cardiology. In fact, he never answered one question. Nor did he say anything to calm my concerns. Even a coupon for 15% Off an Electrocardiogram or Holter Monitor test would have been a caring gesture.

What good is forwarding my concerns to the “appropriate company officials”? There’s a better chance of my heart ceasing to beat altogether from old age before hearing from them. Whenever companies say they are forwarding inquiries to the “appropriate” people, you never hear back, which in itself is inappropriate.

In case you haven’t seen the commercial, this is the Heart Skips a Beat tune of which a portion was used. As a precaution, check with a Cardiologist before starting any extensive granola bar eating routine and verify that your heart is cleared for beat skipping.

Here’s where you can learn more about Special K Granola Bars. However, if a product you purchase suddenly starts to make any body part feel out of rhythm, you may or may not discover why even when you Write The Company.

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