A few things about a friend’s favorite brand of tampons were making her feel anxious and irritable. Just hearing about this made me feel the same way. I contacted o.b. Tampons to see if they could help…
Dear Tampon Technicians:
I’m writing on behalf of my friend Brooklyn. She tells me she’s been buying o.b. Tampons for over 15 years. Why she’s telling me this is beyond me, but since I’ve always wanted to be a gynecologist, I agreed to look into her area of concern.
According to Brooklyn, Super size o.b. Tampons aren’t so super anymore because they’re now more like the size of a small regular. She claims they used to be the size of the current Ultra Plus. As a guy, I’m not sure what any of this means. All I know is if I’m getting the Super size of anything, I want fries and a beverage with it, too. So, the first question is why did you shrink the Super size tampons? Did you suddenly discover you were using too much cotton unnecessarily? Or, are your tampons the same size as they’ve always been, but perhaps Brooklyn’s tampon holding muscles are starting to loosen-up with age? If this is the case, can you please suggest some exercises for her?
Upon further research, I believe Brooklyn’s primary problem is related to absorption. She used the word “Monsoon” to describe her flow. At that point I wanted to do what most people do when a monsoon is coming — RUN like hell! This brings me to my next question: Is the o.b. Tampons Super size actually too small for some women? Should I suggest she insert two of them to make up for the shortfall? Why has this size worked up until now and all of a sudden she finds herself up a creek without a paddle with a monsoon on the way?
She is also upset that while the tampons are shrinking, the price isn’t. It’s really not fair for you to expect consumers to absorb higher prices if your product isn’t absorbing its end of the deal. That much I do know. Please tell me how to advise Brooklyn on these issues.
Very tamponly yours,
A Consumer Care Center Representative responded with:
Thank you for contacting McNeil-PPC, Inc., makers of tampons. It is always important to hear from our consumers, and we appreciate the time you have taken to contact us.
We would like the opportunity to speak with you personally at your earliest convenience.
Our Consumer Care Center is open (hours of operation and phone number followed).
Final Thoughts: On one hand, it was nice of McNeil-PPC to invite me to call. On second thought, it wasn’t. Sorry for the mood swing, but the last thing I want to do is have a personal chit-chat with a Consumer Care Center coordinator about Brooklyn’s feminine hygiene history. Aside from the fact that it would also require additional research, I don’t own a suit of armor in case the monsoon hits full force during the consultation.
If I wanted to call, I would have gotten the number off the product box or their website in the first place. Maybe it was that time of the month when the Consumer Care Center was backed up with inquiries, so instead of providing answers, it was easier to send out a “call us” form letter.
The reason I believe this was an impersonal response is because even though I was the one who wrote, the polite thing to do was to ask me to have Brooklyn call. It’s not like I put the title “Tampon Insertion Consultant” under my name. I’m just a friend who, at this point, is wondering why I didn’t have a friend having issues with something more like bikini waxing instead of this. Brooklyn didn’t feel comfortable calling, either. So, the flow of communications stopped there, even though her other flow continued without a solution.
Here’s where you can do your own research on o.b. Tampons. However, whether you’re trying to help out a friend or find answers for yourself, you may want to call the company. But for me, I always prefer to get my thoughts together with no strings attached and Write The Company.
The heavy flow of comments you are leaving below is being heard!
New York Times | Health: The Case of the Missing o.b. Tampons
Jezebel: The Mystery Of The Missing OB Tampons
CBS News Health Blog: Women in Dismay Over o.b. Tampon Shortage