“Cheap Flights – Lowest European Fares, Low Cost Airline.” That’s one way Ryanair promotes itself. But will charging passengers for using toilets on flights be considered the lowest of lows? I wrote their Customer Service Department in Ireland to see if this idea will really lead them to a pot, or even a potty, of gold…

Dear Chief of Ryanair Fee-Charging:

A news article caught my attention about Ryanair confirming its plan to charge passengers for use of toilets on planes. Like many others, I am opposed to this fee, mainly because I’m very against pissing away money. And even though I’ve bought a lot of crap in my life, this takes things to a whole new level.

Here’s what I don’t understand: Why are you going to the expense of installing coin-operated toilets? How much money do you really expect to generate per passenger? I can see Ryanair pulling in windfall profits from passengers with weak or overactive bladders, but how much do you realistically feel you can drain from the average flyer — a Euro, or two? Or, is your concept based on pushing beverages throughout the flight so passengers will gladly pay to relieve themselves? Why not just increase the fare a couple of Euros, rather than make passengers feel uncomfortable about going to the bathroom?

Now that you’ll be charging a fee to use the lavatory, what’s next? Do you envision offering additional fee-based services? Will it cost more to actually sit on the seat versus stand or hover? Will passengers eventually be able to pay extra to receive a urinalysis report before departing? I’d really like to hear your side of this story.

P.S. Does Ryanair also make employees pay to use the office bathrooms?

Ryanair Customer Services responded with:

A letter marked “Private and Confidential.”

Final Thoughts: This is the first time I’ve ever received a “Private and Confidential” response from customer service. The representative must have been very well-trained as a child to always treat whatever happens in the bathroom as private business and not share it with everyone in the world. Therefore, I feel obliged to refrain from revealing this reply forever, which is how long the flight will feel for passengers that decide to hold off and avoid paying a toilet cover charge. I also hope Ryanair plans to install an ATM on the plane for the sake of passengers hit by an untimely bout of diarrhea because that could end up costing more than the entire flight.

On a personal note that isn’t confidential, many companies don’t bother to write back. The fact that Ryanair took the time to reply — from another country — and share their position is commendable. The response wasn’t a form letter either, unlike the one Spirit Airlines sent in response to this letter regarding their plan to charge for carry-on baggage. Ryanair simply defended their position and respectfully chose to keep it between them and the customer. Plus, they didn’t charge me for their time or include an invoice for postage reimbursement.

Nevertheless, Ryanair’s position didn’t sway me one bit. It’s absurd to charge for toilet use! This isn’t a service, luxury or perk. It’s a necessity — even if the average flight time is only about an hour. Passengers already bought one seat, why make them pay for another they’ll only need for a couple of minutes? More importantly, why can’t airlines come up with more creative ideas for things people will want to purchase, rather than hitting them where it hurts the most? No, not in the wallet — right between the legs!

This is the original article that triggered my letter. And this wonderfully titled article, “Ryanair’s Michael O’Leary defends pay-per-pee fee,” offers insights into their Chief Executive’s thinking. The plan also needs to gain approval from the EU, U.S. Federal Aviation Administration and Boeing. Here’s more on that.

If you’re flying Europe, or have questions of your own about this airline, visit or contact Ryanair. Finally, while I’m disappointed I can’t share their response, the important lesson here is that you can flush out answers anywhere in the world regarding services or products, if you Write The Company.