“Power to the Squirrels” is not a movement led by a pack of raucous rebel rodents. Although when it comes to power, squirrels may be walking a fine line. What are the risks for our bushy-tailed friends on power lines in Florida? I asked Florida Power & Light…

Dear Power Suppliers:

In addition to providing electric power to millions of people, can you please tell me whether your electric power is also being served to squirrels?

My understanding is that squirrels are fine scampering across low electrical power lines, but if they touch a low and high power line simultaneously, they’re toast. Is this an accurate assessment? How many volts does it take to fry a squirrel? More importantly, what is Florida Power & Light doing to protect squirrels from electrocution on the squirrel highway, otherwise known as power lines?

I see birds perched on power lines all the time. There are certainly more birds on power lines than squirrels. Yet, I rarely see birds frozen by electrical currents with their feathers sticking straight out. In fact, I see more sneakers hanging from power lines than I do birds or squirrels. How many birds do you estimate experience this kind of electrifying fate annually versus the number of squirrels versus the number of sneakers?

I’ve seen many CAUTION signs near power lines, which warn humans to keep away. Unfortunately, birds, squirrels, sneakers and an ever-growing group of Americans who are illiterate aren’t receiving those warnings. What’s being done at FPL to keep them away from experiencing what it feels like to have too much power?

FPL Customer Care Center responded with:

WE WERE UNABLE TO PROCESS YOUR REQUEST
Thank you for your recent correspondence to FPL requesting FPL policies for squirrels on power lines.

We are looking forward to serving you. However, we were not able to process your request because: we were unable to retrieve your FPL account to enter your dissatisfaction with voltage on power lines.

PLEASE CALL US
Please contact our Customer Care Center at 800-226-3545 at your earliest convenience to provide additional information or clarification. If you have already contacted us to supply the necessary information, we appreciate your cooperation.

WE LOOK FORWARD TO SERVING YOU
All of us at FPL are working harder and smarter to meet your energy needs and keep you informed. Our goal is your complete satisfaction. We look forward to serving you in the future.

Final Thoughts: Even though no insights were offered whatsoever regarding FPL policies pertaining to squirrels and power lines, this was still a pretty squirrelly response. Talk about beating around the bushy! Customer Care mentioned three times how they look forward to serving me. So why didn’t they? Forget looking forward to serving me in the future. How about serving me in the present?

Last time I wrote FLP they responded with a terrific reply and defended their position on a rate hike proposal without asking for my account number. Why were they able to deliver details then? Because it best served their interests? What does my account number have to do with releasing squirrel power-related information? I never said squirrels were being electrocuted on my power lines. Or that every time I go in or out of the house I’m surrounded by smoldering squirrel carcasses who’ve chewed through a cable.

Then, Customer Care made up some stuff about my “dissatisfaction with voltage on power lines.” Where did that come from? Maybe the squirrels are dissatisfied. Some might even be shocked. I wouldn’t know because I don’t speak squirrel, and since squirrels don’t speak English, I was simply inquiring about their safety on their behalf. I don’t know the first thing about voltage. In fact, my knowledge of electricity is limited to flipping a switch and hoping the bulb lights up.

You may not be able to learn much about their power policies for protecting squirrels, but here’s where you can find out more about Florida Power & Light. However, when you ask a service provider to shed some light on something you feel is worth asking, they may or may not leave you in the dark when you Write The Company.

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Food Standards for Serving Squirrel