Have you ever laughed so hard you peed your pants? I seem to have that affect on a friend. After the fourth or fifth time, I wrote GlaxoSmithKline to see if their drug VESIcare would help her stay in control during her wetting day…

Dear Overactive Bladder Controllers:

I’ve seen those Avodart commercials for people with a going problem. The problem is Avodart is for men, yet women have going problems, too. Further research led me to your treatment, VESIcare, which I understand is for women experiencing urgency, frequency, and leakage (overactive bladder).

I have a friend, whose name I’ll keep anonymous to protect her identity, so for now, let’s just call her “Peetra.” Whenever my wife and I go out with “Peetra” and her husband, she starts laughing uncontrollably and wets her pants. One time, we were in a restaurant and she left a puddle by the table. While I felt bad for her, I felt worse for the poor busboy that had to clean it up thinking it was lemonade. Another time, also in a restaurant, it happened inside and outside in the parking lot. Urine was everywhere and I thought about mailing the owner an anonymous check so they could have the place power-washed.

There have been other instances as well stretching as far away as Prague, so if anyone there ever asked us if we were European, “Peetra” could have actually said, “yes,” because she probably was. She’s a terrific friend, however, it’s reached the point where I’m hesitant to have dinner with her without bringing a snorkel.

Does it sound like she is a candidate for VESIcare? Should I recommend she talk to her physician about it? Do you have a brochure I can forward in an unmarked envelope? I’m sympathetic that she has a going problem, but it’s going too far. What advice do you have so that I can handle this matter tactfully? The last thing I’d want to do is you-know-what her off, if you know what I mean.

The GSK Response Center responded with:

Thank you for your inquiry about VESIcare® (solifenacin succinate), the product co-marketed by Astellas Pharma US, Inc., and GlaxoSmithKline.

Because patient care is individualized, we encourage consumers to direct questions about their medical condition and treatment to their physician. We believe that because your friend’s physician knows her medical history, he or she is best suited to answer your questions.

A copy of the prescribing information for this product is enclosed for your review and discussion with a healthcare provider. Prescribing information is also available at (website link provided).

We appreciate the opportunity to serve you. If you have further questions concerning GlaxoSmithKline or our products, please contact our GSK Response Center at (phone number and hours of operation followed).

Final Thoughts: “Peetra” did discuss her condition with a physician. It turned out to be stress incontinence where laughing, coughing, sneezing and other abdomen straining activities can cause an involuntary urine leak. Her doctor recommended a procedure involving a mid-urethral mesh sling called TVT (Tension-Free Vaginal Tape), which she had done. I won’t get into the details since my knowledge regarding tape is limited to Scotch, masking and duct. Although, when I was single, a roll of Tension-Free Vaginal Tape might have come in handy on occasion to loosen up a tense vagina during some relationships.

To pee, or not to pee: that is the question. Only time will tell. Since the procedure, my friend has refused to see me until she’s fully healed. We have conducted preliminary testing over the phone and so far it’s held up. A dinner date is forthcoming.

It’s ironic how a laughing matter such as this is really nothing to laugh about at all. Millions of people, the majority being women, experience urinary incontinence. I’ve only experienced it from a few feet away and can verify that it’s definitely an accident waiting to happen. Although, if there is a bright side, my friend’s husband has run out of the restaurant and returned with new pants, which seemed to make her extremely happy.

The link GSK provided in their response just two months ago isn’t valid, which is why I didn’t include it above. Here’s where you can find the prescribing information. For more details about overactive bladder and VESIcare, visit VESIcare.com. When it comes to medical conditions, do as GlaxoSmithKline encourages — discuss them and treatment options with your healthcare provider. However, if you want to see how well a brand’s customer response center treats you, all you need to do is Write The Company.