I heard a rumor about Mountain Dew and sperm, which gave birth to this letter…

Dear Mountain Dew Brewers:

What’s this I hear about Mountain Dew possibly lowering sperm count? Tell me it ain’t so! How come these things are always negative? Why can’t we ever hear that a beverage raises sperm count? You could even call it Mountain Spew.

I read that it had something to do with Yellow #5. Maybe you should try a milder Yellow like a #2 or #3. I’d sacrifice a couple of shades of yellow to save a bunch of my sperm! Do married members of your Mountain Dew staff tend to have fewer kids than your Pepsi employees?

I realize that no soda company is going to put a disclaimer on their can that says, “WARNING: THIS BEVERAGE MAY HAVE AN ADVERSE EFFECT ON YOUR SPERM COUNT.” So, what’s the deal? Just for the record, I never counted my sperm, but I do count on them.

What to Dew, what to Dew?

A Senior Consumer Relations Representative from Mountain Dew responded with:

Thank you for contacting Pepsi-Cola Company. I thoroughly enjoyed reading your witty letter and we’re flattered to learn that you’re a big Mtn Dew fan!

DEW not fear! We’ve been in business for 111 years and our consumers have always been our priority. All of the ingredients used in our products are safe, or we certainly wouldn’t use them.

As for any rumors you’ve heard regarding Yellow Dye # 5, you can rest assured that they are completely false. There is no truth at all that your manhood has been jeopardized. For the record, Yellow Dye # 5 (tartrazine) is a food coloring additive that’s been used since 1916 in several popular products like skim milk, yogurt and macaroni and cheese. Of course, it’s fully approved by the Food and Drug Administration (FDA) for use in food and soft drinks and is completely safe (in every way) for consumers.

If you go to www.snopes.com, you can get clarification about this falsehood as well as read about other urban legends. We don’t know how or when these misleading rumors began to circulate but they seem to take on a life of their own. So I’m glad that I’ve had the opportunity to put the rumor to rest today!

Thanks for writing. I’ve enclosed a complimentary coupon in hopes that you DEW enjoy your next drink on us!

Final Thoughts: In addition to a coupon good for one FREE 2-liter bottle of any Pepsi-Cola product, they also sent a branded baseball cap, t-shirt and tote bag. Kudos to Mountain Dew for directly addressing the issue, being so generous and having a sense of humor.

If you ever feel your sperm is at risk, sometimes the best thing to dew is Write The Company.