A few things need to be drilled into the heads of dentists. The American Dental Association seemed like a good place to start…
Dear Toothsayers,
No one knows more about dentistry than the American Dental Association and that’s why I seek your advice. Can you put out a small tri-fold brochure containing mandatory rules of etiquette for dentists to follow?
One rule should inform dentists to quit asking questions when the patient’s mouth is full of cotton, tools or their fingers. I’m tired of responding with, “oohweebaba abidabibilow awawawa.” What can they possibly do with that information? Another rule needs to grant patients full authority to control the suction hook at all times. I don’t think dentists realize that when their forearm leans on the tube, it angles the suction part upwards so all it does is suck up air while the saliva is forming a pool under your tongue big enough for a guppy to call home. And they need to stop putting so much of that silly putty in the impression molds. That gunk feels like it’s slowly dripping down the back of your throat and it’s only a matter of moments before your gag reflex shoots a 20 mph blast sending the impression tray onto your lap. They tell you, “breathe through your nose,” but try doing that with a deviated septum!
In the meantime, what are the top three things you recommend for overcoming the fear of going to the dentist that don’t involve sedatives or mood altering medication? And what is the best way to tell your dentist he or she has bad breath?
Tell the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth!
An ADA Representative responded with:
Greetings from the American Dental Association: Thank you for your interest in oral health. We hope the enclosed information is useful to you. We also offer a wealth of information on our web site, www.ada.org, including coloring and activity sheets that may be downloaded and printed.
We thank you for contacting the American Dental Association.
Final Thoughts: Enclosed with the response were three ADA brochures: “Why do I need an ORAL EXAM?”, “Healthy Mouth, Healthy Body — Making the Connection” and “Battling Bad Breath.” While the bad breath brochure has lots of useful tips, none addressed how to tell someone, including a dentist, their breath stinks like the inside of a decayed molar. Thank goodness they wear masks! It’s been decades since I engaged in coloring, but maybe I’ll see if it relaxes me before my next appointment in a few days. No word on whether the ADA plans to incorporate my new rule suggestions in their next brochure.
There really are many helpful and educational resources on the American Dental Association website, so plan a visit. Finally, if there’s an organization or business you want to enlighten, spit out a letter and Write The Company.
6 Responses to "Giving Dentists a Mouthful"
Heidi Thorne
January 18, 2010 at 4:18 pm
I’ve got another rule… Ban TVs! While I’m at the dentist, I usually am subjected to an extended dose of mindless or disturbing daytime TV or news. If it isn’t the sad, bad stories on the talk shows, it’s the daily litany of murder and mayhem from around the world. I know dentists mean well by trying to distract you from what’s going on in your mouth. But they may have an ulterior motive. By subjecting you to all that negativity, you’ll think your visit to the dentist is a walk in the park. Thanks for speaking up for those who cannot speak for themselves because of all the cotton, goo, and equipment in their mouths!
Write The Company
January 18, 2010 at 4:53 pm
Maybe what’s on the TV is really what the dentist wants to watch during spitting and rinsing breaks. No dentist has ever handed me a remote control. During my last visit I was treated to aerial views of the European countryside with instrumental music. For someone like me who prefers big cities, it not only made me more tense, it made me want to bite his finger really, really hard.
ShelleyD
January 18, 2010 at 10:15 pm
I’m probably one of the few that actually does not have a dentist phobia (wonder what that is, anyway). Unfortunately, I was a deprived rural child without fluoride. I’ve learned to live with it.
I’ve been a little slow on moving on up to gas…the shots aren’t so bad. In fact, the whole thing is quite tolerable. I even find myself snoring sometimes! Is there something wrong with me?
Write The Company
January 18, 2010 at 11:22 pm
Thank you for sharing important details about your dental history with Write The Company. Unfortunately, we are unauthorized, unqualified and unable to determine if there is something wrong with you. Although, if you find yourself snoring while you are awake, you might want to get that checked out immediately.
Traci Browne
January 22, 2010 at 4:57 pm
Does no one else find it disheartening that you are getting form letter responses? Ok, I understand you are being funny and I’m not expecting a long serious response but at least something to indicate there may be a human reading incoming mail.
Write The Company
January 22, 2010 at 5:26 pm
Some companies answer with a sense of humor, many respond seriously and others reply with form letters. When they avoid the questions, I generally point it out. Either way, how they respond says a lot about how the company handles customer service. Just the fact that you feel it’s “disheartening” and expected more is a terrific way to get companies who see comments such as yours to think again. Many don’t even bother to respond at all. Regardless, it’s still fun to write and see what happens.