I had a lot of friends when I lived in Los Angeles. Many of them were psycho, but none were psychic. So I reached out to the most popular psychics at the time for advice, The Psychic Friends Network, with this letter to the attention of a Literary Psychic Specialist…
Dear Psychic to the Scribes:
I know you’re very busy predicting the future, so I’ll make this fast. I’ve just started writing a book and I have one quick question for you. Should I continue or is it a waste of time? I use a PC and Microsoft Word and I’m a Scorpio with brown eyes, low cholesterol and thinning hair but there is no blinding glare. I hope that’s enough information for you to make an accurate prediction.
I can’t call your 900 number because it’s too expensive, so I’m enclosing $1.00. I know $1.00 isn’t very much so a simple “yes” or “no” answer will be just fine. I wish someone gave me a $1.00 every time I said “yes” or “no.” You’re in a great line of work!
Psyched to hear back from you!
Customer Service from Inphomation Communications, owners of The Psychic Friends Network, responded with…
Thank You for Taking the Time to Write Us.
We Are Unable to Forward Your Letter to a Psychic. To Receive a Reading or Speak to a Particular Psychic You Must Call Our Network. If you are unable to dial a 900 number, you may send us payment in advance for the amount of minutes you would like to speak to a psychic for. The cost is $3.99 per minute, which may be paid by check or money order. (Contact information for additional questions followed).
P.S. We are returning your dollar bill because we are unable to forward your letter to a psychic.
Final Thoughts: Soon after my letter, The Psychic Friends Network filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy protection. I’m surprised no one there saw it coming. Maybe if they took in an extra dollar every now and then they could have turned things around. The Psychic Friends Network is now back under new ownership, although the spirit hasn’t moved me to contact them yet.
When it comes to the future, it’s hard to predict what kind of answers you’ll get if you Write The Company.
