Boar’s Head believes they make “The best roast chicken. Ever.” Yes, it is good chicken. However, after seeing their recent advertising campaign, I gave them a mouthful of what I believe…

Dear Heads of Boar’s:

Your Boar’s Head EverRoast Chicken commercial says, “It’s like that glorious roast chicken that grandma used to make … only better.” Are you out of your Boar’s Head? You’ve never tasted my Grandmother’s chicken! You can’t take on chicken cookers from that generation. They practically invented chicken. For God’s sake they lived on chicken fat! Not for their own sake, literally for God’s sake. It was His mandate. If they didn’t cook chicken every Friday night they would be stricken with a migraine and sometimes even angina.

My wife’s chicken is another story. Apparently, the ability to cook chicken isn’t hereditary. So I suggest you change your claim to, “It’s like that glorious roast chicken that grandma used to make … that your wife only wishes she could make if her life depended on it.” The last chicken my wife made was so chewy that I think it would have been easier to digest one of those rubber chickens from a joke shop. It’s definitely hit or miss. Sometimes it’s great, other times if you offered it to a starving homeless person, I’ll bet they would rather take their chances on leftovers found in trash cans.

The bad news is you’re no match for my Grandma, may she rest in peace. The good news is my wife could use your help, which is good for me. Only I’m too chicken to tell her. So how do I get her to switch to Boar’s Head? And what’s the secret behind your EverRoast Chicken recipe?

Ever roastingly yours,
“Me”

A Quality Support Representative from Boar’s Head Provisions Co. responded with:

Thank you for your letter. It was very amusing. It seems everyone has a “my grandma’s chicken” story.

At Boar’s Head we always go out of our way to provide the highest quality provisions available, therefore, it is gratifying to receive a letter such as yours.

Since you live in Delray Beach, I’m sure you are familiar with Publix Grocery stores. They all carry the new Everroast Chicken. Any store that has the new chicken would be happy to let your wife try it to see if she likes it.

As for the recipe, we start with boneless skinless chicken breasts and slow roast them to ensure tenderness. A simple yet full flavor seasoning blend of celery, carrots, onions and parsley is applied before the chicken is browned to perfection.

Thank you again for your interest in our new product. I hope you and your family enjoy it along with our other fine meats and cheeses.

Final Thoughts: Boar’s Head deserves lots of credit for having such confidence in their chicken that they’re putting it in the Grandma league. It shows they’re shooting for the highest chicken standards ever set. The company is based in Florida where I live, and even though they didn’t ask me and my wife over for dinner, it was thoughtful of them to invite her to Publix for a taste test.

Many companies know how to dish it out, but sometimes you have to see if they can take it. Boar’s Head took it quite well. The next time you have a craving for chicken, see how your Grandma’s compares to Boar’s Head. Although, whenever you question a company’s advertising claims, don’t ever be chicken to Write The Company.