Over the years, I’ve enjoyed the scent of many Little Trees air fresheners in my car. It seemed only natural to contact Car-Freshner Corporation, the manufacturers, to air my thoughts about a different kind of use for them…

Dear Tree Sniffers,

This is embarrassing, but I’m going to ask anyway. Your Little Trees Air Fresheners for Cars that hang from rear-view mirrors can really drive away unpleasant auto odors. Would they be just as effective inside of other places that stink besides vehicles?

More specifically, since Little Trees are relatively small and flat, could someone with chronic silent but deadly gas slip one inside their pants to get through an important business meeting? Perhaps your Black Forest scent would provide the perfect cover without being overly obvious, unless you have another suggestion.

After examining many air fresheners, Little Trees is the only one that could conceivably work. All the others are too thick. Plus, so many of them are plug-ins, and you can’t do much with those since there isn’t exactly any place to plug them into in your pants, which is kind of ironic since gas is used to power so many different things.

Cars run on gas and you help them with smell pollution. How about people who run on gas, can you help them, too?

P.S. How about if someone had too much to drink, will a Morning Fresh scented Little Tree hanging around their neck camouflage barf breath? I’m thinking they might make for terrific party gifts.

A Car-Freshner Corporation Consumer Relations Representative responded with:

Thank you for your letter and kind remarks about our products. We always appreciate hearing from satisfied customers.

It is gratifying to know our products are being so enthusiastically supported. We take great pride in our air fresheners and constantly strive to maintain a high level of quality.

“Little Tree” air fresheners were designed to be used in the car, home, boat or office. As long as the product is used according to the directions on the back of the package, it should be effective anywhere you want to hang it. Although, you may want to smell like a “Little Tree” fragrance, we encourage you to find a cologne that you like, instead.

I have enclosed a Black Forest “Little Tree” for you to enjoy with our compliments.

Thank you again for taking the time to write.

Final Thoughts: In addition to delivering a tactfully worded response, including a Black Forest Little Tree showed that Car-Freshner Corporation has a sympathetic side as well. Also enclosed was a Little Tree decal.

As mentioned, Little Trees were designed to be used in cars, homes, boats (not butts) and offices (not orifices). Do not stick Little Trees or other scented objects down your pants without first consulting a botanist, dendrologist, arborist, dermatologist, allergist or lumberjack.

These handy air fresheners have grown enormously in popularity since their debut in 1952 and are now world-famous. Here’s where you can learn more about Little Trees. Finally, when you require more information about what you can and can’t do with a product, it’s always advisable to Write The Company.