Elbow macaroni seems different to me than any other kind of pasta. That’s why I wrote New World Pasta, manufacturers of the Creamette brand, after noodling around with some suggestions for expanding the concept of elbow macaroni… Dear Elbow Macaroni Manufacturers: There’s no denying that elbow macaroni is one of the most popular pastas. Plus [...]

On MTV’s Newlyweds: Nick & Jessica, Jessica Simpson once asked: “Is this chicken what I have, or is this fish? I know it’s tuna, but it says Chicken … by the Sea. Is that stupid?” I recently wrote Chicken of the Sea and picked up where Jessica left off… Dear Chicken Fisherman: As a consumer, [...]

After the subject of yeast infections came up with a female friend, I consulted Amerifit Brands, manufacturers of AZO Yeast, to investigate further… Dear Fighters of the Yeast Beast: From what I can tell, AZO YEAST effectively relieves yeast infections. I’ve never had a yeast infection, probably because I never had a vagina either. That [...]

After an unusual incident involving a passenger several months ago, I wrote Air Canada to see if they felt this idea based on what happened could take off… Dear Canadians that Fly Through the Air: Your website says, “You can expect to hear back from us within 30 days.” Since I didn’t, I thought you [...]

Teapot is one word. Separate those words and it becomes Tea Pot. I contacted Celestial Seasonings to see how one of their teas would be affected by this change… Dear Tea Baggers: Your Detox A.M. Wellness Tea caught my attention. How effective would the detox process be for a drug intervention if the contents of [...]

They say it’s important to watch your words. I wrote Merriam-Webster when I wondered whether a word I was watching might be one they weren’t watching as closely… Dear Merriam-Webster Word Wizards: I’d like to have a word with you if I may. The word is “differentiator.” I looked it up in the Merriam-Webster Online [...]

I don’t mind cleaning myself in the shower every day. But I do mind cleaning the shower. After discovering Mean Green Daily Shower Spray, it gave me an idea to run by the manufacturers… Dear Green Meanies: Your Mean Green household cleaning products are Mean! They would have to be to live up to their [...]

A loyal Write The Company fan and Twitter follower, @DanREvans, sent a suggestion for a letter to Dunkin’ Donuts. They didn’t reply to my first inquiry about the things that bugged Dan, which bugged me, so I bugged them again to respond… Dear Dough Nuts that also Serve Good Coffee: My first question is: What [...]

Preparing for a funeral is never fun; especially when it’s your own. Yet a few issues unexpectedly came up regarding mine, so I consulted an organization experienced in this area for guidance… Dear National Funeral Directors Association: You seem to have lots of helpful information on your website about funerals. That’s why I am interested [...]

As I perused packaged salads in the supermarket, a few from Dole featuring Baby vegetables caught my attention. Since they weren’t with the baby food, I wrote Dole to find out what was going on… Dear World’s Largest Producer & Marketer of Fresh Fruits & Vegetables: I’ve been eating Dole foods since I was a [...]