Write The Company

Everyone has heard of Chicken McNuggets. The real question is: Does anyone know what they really are? Hmm, McDonald’s should…
Dear Makers of the McNugget:
I don’t eat red meat or fried foods, but still want to enjoy McDonald’s. So as far as your Chicken McNuggets go, my preference is to peel off the McFried coating and [...]

Crest Pro-Health Rinse got me so confused that I couldn’t tell the difference between day and night. But I could tell Procter & Gamble, manufacturers of Crest products…
Dear Mouth Rinserologists,
What’s the story with Crest Pro-Health Night Antigingivitis/Antiplaque Oral Rinse? You claim it “Fights Plaque at Night.” Then there’s a Crest Pro-Health Oral Rinse that [...]

After reading a trivia fact about the brain on my bottled water label, words started to flow, resulting in this letter to Zephyrhills Spring Water Company…
Dear Hydrators from the Hills:
When it comes to bottled water, I prefer Zephyrhills Spring Water. There’s no aftertaste. Too many other waters taste like chemically treated sewer water. Not that [...]

The ingredients in horseradish are quite clear. That is what’s confusing about it. I contacted Silver Spring Foods in search of answers straight from the horseradish’s mouth…
Dear Horseradish Wranglers,
From what I can tell, Silver Spring is the Clydesdale of Horseradish. But what the heck is horseradish? The first ingredient in horseradish is horseradish, so that [...]

After serving this letter to Prince Tennis, they sure schooled me with the return…
Dear Princes of the Tennis Court:
You’ve been making an incredible racket ever since I can remember and I’m particularly impressed by the high quality strings Prince produces.
Speaking of strings, who figured out that catgut is a good ingredient for making them? It [...]

A few things need to be drilled into the heads of dentists. The American Dental Association seemed like a good place to start…
Dear Toothsayers,
No one knows more about dentistry than the American Dental Association and that’s why I seek your advice. Can you put out a small tri-fold brochure containing mandatory rules of etiquette for [...]

Aside from being high in fiber, beans have always been the butt of many jokes. I went straight to the source and asked Heinz why…
Dear Heinz Beanz Team:
Please answer this question once and for all: Do beans really make people fart?
I live in Florida and beans are used a lot in Cuban recipes. So I’ve [...]

I found a product called Tough Titties Nipple Rub. It’s for “nursing mums.” So I sent a letter, got a response and posted “The Nipple Effect.”
The owner of the company — LeastLikely2Breed — unexpectedly discovered the post. I learned that after she left a comment. Beyond the responses, I never get any insight into what [...]

After posting “Dial Soap Opera,” I sent out a Twitter Tweet announcing it. Henkel North America — the company behind many recognizable home and personal care products, including Dial — found it and retweeted it…

Final Thoughts: The companies I write have no idea I’m going to write them or that [...]

Most people only know the names of two comets: Halley’s Comet and Comet Cleanser. Over the years, I’ve only been able to observe one close-up and recently filed these findings with the force behind it, Prestige Brands…
Dear Chief of Comet Quality:
As far as disinfectant cleansers go, I think Comet is superb — even though I [...]