In this case, the title isn’t referring to Trojan’s profitability. I contacted Church & Dwight, manufacturers of Trojan Condoms, with a different kind of mint in mind… Dear Condom Consumer Sexual Affairs Experts: My wife only likes to kiss me when my mouth is minty fresh. So I was thinking, why not put out a [...]

An incident with a hamburger bun bugged me. I had experienced the same situation in the past with other buns, but this time I contacted Pepperidge Farm to see what they had to say about it… Dear Bun Bakers: Are hamburgers just a practical joke conspiracy being played on the American public by food companies? [...]

There are many varieties of bubble gum. But how many create lasting memories? These days, most don’t even create lasting flavor. Bazooka is one bubble gum I still fondly remember from my childhood. Those little individual pieces wrapped with a Bazooka Joe Comic had an incredibly addictive taste, smell and bubble blowing power. After all [...]

After witnessing an accident involving my wife and Ann Taylor, I submitted this report to the Ann Taylor Corporate Offices… Dear Ann: My wife purchased one of your black business suits with blue pinstripes, which she looked totally hot wearing. And then this happened… We were in New York. While crossing Broadway and 57th, her [...]

Which came first: The chicken or the egg? That’s debatable, but I can assure you that Unscrambling Eggs – Part 1 definitely came before Part 2. So make sure to read that post first. There was so much to learn from the American Egg Board’s response to my initial letter, that I decided to pluck [...]

What makes The Incredible Edible Egg so incredible? I asked the American Egg Board back in 1997. This is the first time I’m sharing this 2-part correspondence with the public… Dear Egg Head: It used to be that an egg was an egg. Now it’s all gotten so complicated. Maybe you could clear up some [...]

Something needs to be done about chronic coughing. It’s getting harder to go anywhere without encountering someone who’s hacking or kuhcking. I pleaded with Cadbury, makers of Halls Cough Drops, to ramp up their cough containment efforts at cinemas in particular. Here’s why… Dear Cough Stoppers, I’m suffering from Coughaphobia — the fear of people [...]

In Germany, it’s KNISPER! KNASPER! KNUSPER! In Sweden, PIFF! PAFF! PUFF! In America, SNAP! CRACKLE! POP! Yet in any language, Rice Krispies can really liven up breakfast with its constant chatter. I contacted Kellogg’s to find out how they got the Krispies to communicate… Dear Rice Krispies Linguists: How do you make Rice Krispies talk? [...]

In addition to milk, there’s something else I can’t stomach. That’s why I got in touch with Lactaid… Dear Makers of the Other Milk: Thanks for inventing Lactaid Milk. I’m intolerant about a lot of things and lactose is one of them. Adding Lactaid to morning cereal is so much more preferable than doubling over [...]

My PC recently fell ill. It wasn’t a virus. No, it was more like a slow death on the operating system table. There was memory loss, confusion, uncontrollable freezing, lethargy and stress to the point of going blank. And those were just my symptoms. My computer was worse. One by one, specialists recommended pulling the [...]