Mr. Potato Head has spent most of his life hanging out with children. That got me thinking. Would the most famous celebrity spud be interested in some new adult friends? I contacted Hasbro, his creators, to see if this suggestion might appeal to them (or, in this case, maybe it’s appeel)…
Dear Mr. Potato Head Honcho:
Have [...]
Friday, March 12, 2010
Write The Company
Do you BUY what they say?
Archive for August, 2009
How I caught a cold sore without having a cold or even so much as the chills is beyond me. I could have worn a surgical mask for 12 days and hoped no one noticed. Instead, I tried Abreva. That experience got me pumped up in more ways than one. So I popped this product [...]
In addition to the film Frost/Nixon, you can learn a lot about our 37th President at the Richard Nixon Library & Birthplace Foundation. I don’t have a library card to get in there, but I thought I’d do a little research of my own anyway…
Dear Richard Nixon Library Librarians,
Watching the movie Frost/Nixon brought back quite [...]
Automobile safety testing with crash test dummies intrigues me. I contacted Chevrolet, a division of General Motors Corporation, to learn more about it…
Dear Chevrolet Crash Testers:
My second car ever was a 1980 brown Chevy Camaro. I loved it dearly right up until the day I totaled it. But that’s another story.
I think the crash test [...]
There’s one Kashi cereal in particular I love eating to start my day. I told the company how I felt about it because I just couldn’t hold it in anymore…
Dear Keepers of the Kashi:
Your Kashi GOLEAN Crunch is dynamite! Unfortunately, that’s the problem. As much as I love it, the explosions it sets off in [...]
I had a lot of friends when I lived in Los Angeles. Many of them were psycho, but none were psychic. So I reached out to the most popular psychics at the time for advice, The Psychic Friends Network, with this letter to the attention of a Literary Psychic Specialist…
Dear Psychic to the Scribes:
I know [...]
What’s the best way to deal with dryness? Reach out to experts experienced in ending droughts, like the company that makes K-Y Liquibeads…
Dear Vaginal Moisturizers:
I think K-Y Liquibeads are an intriguing product and I don’t even have a vagina.
I’m not sure how K-Y Liquibeads work, but do their moisturizing powers extend beyond the vagina region? [...]
Something didn’t look right when I read the box of my S.O.S Steel Wool Soap Pads. I immediately contacted Clorox to see if they could clean up this mess…
Dear Scouring Specialists,
You make some terrific products, but you need better proofreaders! Every one of your S.O.S. Steel Wool Soap Pads boxes has a huge typo. The [...]
Chrysler recently emerged from bankruptcy selling the bulk of its assets to Fiat. But did it really have to come to this? Maybe if Chrysler took this advice I sent them back in 1997, things might have turned out differently…
Dear Head of Sales:
I’m sure you agree that we have to get more American cars on [...]
How versatile is marble polish? I had no idea until after I rolled out this letter to MARBLELIFE…
Dear Marble Mavens,
I’m inquiring about your marble polish. How would this product work on real marbles?
Will it shine up an entire collection? Would the colors glow brighter than a bald man’s scalp on a sunny day? Could the [...]
KEEPING COMPANIES HONEST ... RIGHT DOWN TO THE LETTER
A candid collection of crazy correspondence containing comments, complaints, criticisms, critiques and confessions that categorically captures and conveys the confusion, complications, curiosities, compliments and consequences consumers and customers constructively confront, creatively contemplate and/or continuously consider. Comprende?
- Dear VP of Marketing: Your "target audience" isn't really a target. Targets are things you fire at, attack, hit and try to destroy. Try aiming for the funny bone. I've got some terrific ideas. Write me!
MEMO TO CORPORATE
