Is it possible to make whoopee cushions even funnier and more disgusting? I wrote S.S. Adams, the legendary pranks, gags and magic company with my suggestions…
Dear Whoopee Makers:
Your whoopee cushions have always been a gas! It’s amazing how that noise always gets people laughing, even if they have no sense of humor. Any idea how [...]
Friday, March 12, 2010
Write The Company
Do you BUY what they say?
Archive for July, 2009
For some, choosing a condom is a big deal. For others, it’s a small thing. Either way, there are lots of condoms to consider. So when I found the ONE, I shot off this letter to the manufacturer…
Dear Prophylacticators,
I came across your ONE Next Generation Condoms and got excited just reading the box. Maybe [...]
What man wouldn’t like to get his hands on a Playboy Bunny? Since I never did, I wrote Playboy hoping they would help me accomplish the next best thing…
Dear Director of Playboy Bunny Affairs:
It doesn’t look like I’m ever going to have an affair with a Playboy Bunny in this lifetime. In fact, the closest [...]
A little corn can be a big problem. I found relief from Dr. Scholl’s and had to tell them about it…
Dear Corn Care Cobblers:
I purchased some Dr. Scholl’s Corn Cushions and they worked like magic! The adhesive side totally keeps them securely attached to the cob. And the other side has just the right amount [...]
This inquiry about Mighty Dog should give you some food for thought. Then again, it might not…
Dear Mighty Dog Nutritionists:
I must admit, your Mighty Dog Chicken, Egg & Bacon Dinner looks mighty tasty. What would happen if a human ate it? It sure looks a lot better than some of the stuff my wife whips [...]
My father always stressed the importance of proper spelling and the value of developing a strong vocabulary. He was such a stickler about it, that even when I sent letters home from camp, he would return them corrected in red. So I knew he would be so very proud of me when I did some [...]
I heard a rumor about Mountain Dew and sperm, which gave birth to this letter…
Dear Mountain Dew Brewers:
What’s this I hear about Mountain Dew possibly lowering sperm count? Tell me it ain’t so! How come these things are always negative? Why can’t we ever hear that a beverage raises sperm count? You could even call [...]
KEEPING COMPANIES HONEST ... RIGHT DOWN TO THE LETTER
A candid collection of crazy correspondence containing comments, complaints, criticisms, critiques and confessions that categorically captures and conveys the confusion, complications, curiosities, compliments and consequences consumers and customers constructively confront, creatively contemplate and/or continuously consider. Comprende?
- Dear VP of Marketing: Your "target audience" isn't really a target. Targets are things you fire at, attack, hit and try to destroy. Try aiming for the funny bone. I've got some terrific ideas. Write me!
MEMO TO CORPORATE
